* How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it takes a lot of light bulbs. * How many Tauruses does it take to change a light bulb? What?Me?Move? * How many Geminis does it take to change a light bulb? II * How many Cancers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he has to bring his mother. * How many Leos does it take to change a light bulb? A dozen. One to change the bulb, and eleven to applaud. * How many Virgos does it take to change a light bulb? Five. One to clean out the socket, one to dust the bulb, one to install, and two engineers to check the work. * How many Libras does it take to change a light bulb? Libras can’t decide if the bulb needs to be changed. * How many Scorpios does it take to change a light bulb? None. They LIKE the dark. * How many Sagittarians does it take to change a light bulb? One to install the bulb, and a Virgo to pick up the pieces. * How many Capricorns does it take to change a light bulb? The light’s fine as it is. * How many Aquarians does it take to change a light bulb? Have you asked the bulb if it WANTS to be changed? * How many Pisceans does it take to change a light bulb? What light bulb? And another thing I found - The Ascendant is the Stage itself! The Sun is the Star of the show! The Moon is the Audience! Mercury is the playwright and script editor! Venus is the talent scout, but also the romantic leading lady and the supporting cast! Mars is the choreographer and perhaps the whole chorus line! Jupiter is the director and producer! Saturn is the theatre critic! Uranus is the sound & light technician, but also the publicity agent! Neptune is the orchestra, but also the costume & set designer responsible for the illusion the show projects! Pluto is the investor and creditor who puts up the money for a later return! AHAHA and another one! ~ ARIES: “Dear God! Give me PATIENCE and I want it NOW !” TAURUS: “Dear God, please help me accept CHANGE in my life, but NOT YET.” GEMINI: “Yo God…(or is it Goddess?)…Who are you?…What are you?…..Where are You?…..How many of you ARE there? I can’t figure you out!” CANCER: “Dear Daddy, I know I shouldn’t depend on you so much, but you’re the only One I can count on while my security blanket is at the cleaners.” LEO: “Hi, Pop! I’ll bet you’re really proud to have me as your kid!” VIRGO: “Dear God, please make the world a better place, and don’t screw it up like you did the last time.” LIBRA: “Dear God, I know I should make decisions for myself. But, on the other hand, what do YOU think?” SCORPIO: “Dear God, help me forgive my enemies, even if the bastards don’t deserve it.” SAGITTARIUS: “OH ALMIGHTY, ALL KNOWING, ALL -LOVING, ALL -POWERFUL, OMNIPRESENT, EVERLASTING GOD, IF I’VE ASKED YOU ONCE, I’VE ASKED YOU A THOUSAND TIMES — HELP ME STOP EXAGGERATING!!!!!!!!!!” CAPRICORN: “Dear Father, I was going to pray, but I guess I ought to figure things out for myself. Thanks anyway.” AQUARIUS: “Hi God! Some say you’re a man. Some say you’re a woman. I say we’re ALL God. So, why pray? Let’s have a party!” PISCES: “Heavenly Father, as I prepare to consume this last fifth of Scotch to drown out my pain and sorrow, may my inebriation be for Thy greater Honor and Glory.” The last one’s the zodiac sign’s prayers to God =] And I got to give “Gellex” credit for the Gemini one ;D
Eden Drinks Yahoo! [;D] asked:
moonriver
Tags: Ahaha, Change In My Life, Choreographer, Chorus Line, Creditor, Dear God, Leading Lady, Light Bulb, Light Bulbs, Light Technician, Playwright, Publicity Agent, Scorpios, Script Editor, Star Of The Show, Supporting Cast, Talent Scout, Theatre Critic, Uranus, Virgo